My Favorite Tradition

The annual trip to the tree farm is by far my favorite family tradition. We started going Makinna's first Christmas and return to the same place every year.

Its not a fancy place, just a tree farm up in the mountain, and they have the most beautiful Frazier furs.

Every year we pile in the car with Aunt B and Uncle Cody and follow Grandma and Pappy Wolf up to the tree farm. Grandma, Pappy, Aunt B and Uncle Cody pick out their tree and we pick out ours. Mostly Makinna and I. Gage is usually running up and down the rows chasing after KJ the dog.

This year there was still snow on the ground from an earlier snow fall. It just adds to the festive mood. I even got some great pictures of the kids. The family picture is not so great...don't we all look so happy?

The experience is always so much fun. Often Wes has a snow ball fight with his brother and sister. And I love watching Daddy and Pappy cut down and drag the trees to the truck like manly men. I know these are traditions the the kids will remember into adulthood.

Boys will be Boys

.....and that's not such a bad thing. Gage is ALL boy. He loves to play rough, sometimes too rough. He often gets the best of his older sister and other kids he plays with. He does a move I call "the take down" where he comes up behind someone, grabs them around the waist and falls backward. I swear he has a future in professional wrestling!
But I realized something the other day.....Gage has only girls to play with. He has a sister, the neighbor across the street has girls, my best friend has 3 girls!! So over Thanksgiving we went to my sisters house. My two nephews were there. They are 7 and 9 years old and I mean they are all rough and tumble boys! They run, jump, yell and carry on like testosterone filled little boys do, and let me tell you Gage had a blast playing with them. It was so joyous for me to watch him wrestle with them and they didn't cry, they ran, they laughed they wrestled and Gage got to do his signature "take down" move and the boys loved it. They thought he was sooooo cool because he played rough. We still had some trouble with Gage biting, but he bit one of the boys and they just said "ouch!" pushed him away and kept playing chase. There was no major melt down, no screaming, they just shrugged it off. My two young nephews have two older brothers so they learned early to be tough, so Gage is no big deal for them.
After watching them I began to think, maybe Gage is not that bad maybe he just needs some rough little boys to play with!

More pics

I just wanted to post these cute pics of the kids in thier festive Halloween shirts, courtesy of Grammy and Grandfather. I couldn't find my cameral when it came time for trick or treat. So my good friend is going to email me some of hers so I have some pictures of the kids in thier costumes. Hopefully I will be able to post them soon.

Sick Sick Sick

I'm just writing today to complain. We have been having a time with everyone being sick. Last week Gage ran a fever for 7 days strait. I finally managed to get his antibiotics in him with much screaming and then yogurt (which he should NOT be having) but you gotta do what you gotta do. Gage finished his last dose on Thursday then Friday Makinna starts with fever. Guess what??? Strep throat!!! Ugh! At least I don't have any trouble getting her meds in her. I can't wait until everyone is well and happy again.

Makinna's Victory over the Worry Bugs!

Makinna has worry bugs. That is to say she has anxiety. She has and always has had fear of loud noises and the machines that make them. She worries when she sees a motorcycle in the parking lot that is will start up and make loud noises, she worries when I get the vacuum cleaner out. But recently on a trip to my brother house Makinna told her worry bugs to "get lost!"
My brother is the king of toys. Now he like to buy the toys but my sister in law likes to play with them! One of her favorite being their dune buggies. On our last trip down there she took me and then Wes for a ride in one. And let me tell you the girl can drive it! Of course Gage had no trouble getting in and going for a ride, after all if it has a motor and wheels it is his friend! In fact Gage came back from his ride and got out. Then it was Daddy's turn. So Daddy walked away from the dune buggy to get his goggles and when he turned around there was Gage sitting in his seat with the belt buckled, ready to go again. Gage was not happy about getting out.
Anyway, I asked Makinna if she wanted to go. She did but when it was her turn she said no. I could see that she really did want to go for a ride but her "worry bugs" were getting the best of her. So Aunt Debbie stepped in. Now Aunt Debbie knows a thing or two about anxiety, so I think she can relate to Makinna in a way that her daddy and I can't. I don't know what she said or did but in the afternoon Makinna went for a very slow ride on the dune buggy with Aunt Debbie. When they got back Makinna was beaming. She was so proud that she went and her daddy and I were were incredibly proud of her going despite her worries. Later that night I asked her if she was nervous when she went for her ride. She said "No, I just told those worry bugs to 'get lost'"

The Great Ketchup Caper

Another Gage moment. I get out of the shower today and I hear this funny noise in the kitchen. As I walk into the kitchen I see it.....Gage has gotten out the bottle of ketchup from the fridge and squeezed almost the entire bottle on to the floor. Not just in one place but ALL over the floor. And to top it all off he has taken the broom and and used it like a paint brush and smeared it everywhere. It looks like my kitchen floor has a lovely red glaze on it. He was very proud of himself, because as I looked at him and said "Gage what are you doing!!!?" he looked up and smiled, pointed at the floor and simply said "tep-up!"

Just some pictures

Shaving cream boy!

Makinna's first day of school

"The greatest test of courage on earth is to bear defeat with out losing heart." Robert Ingersoll

Today I feel defeated. Its only 12 noon and already I feel like I've had all can take. You see Gage has these phases when he is irritable, and into everything! We are in one of those phases right now.
Makinna has school today and Gage is off all day, as am I. So I thought we would go grocery shopping so we won't have to do it over the weekend. Mistake #1. Gage hates Wal Mart. He literally screamed almost all the way through the entire store. And I mean the kind of screaming that makes people turn their heads and then think to them selves. "What a little brat." But honestly I'm way past caring what other people think. So we finally get out of Wal Mart. I have to go to the bank. Mistake #2. Gage unbuckles himself and I have to stop in the parking lot and get him back in his car seat. So I finally get home and take the groceries up stairs. Mistake #3. When I get back down I find that Gage has found a ball point pen and written all over the leather seats of my car. He proceeds to try to get to his daddy's circular saw and throws a tantrum on the floor because I won't let him have it. I go up stairs to get him some lunch. Mistake #4. I come back down and find that Gage has emptied 7 brand new bottles of water onto the garage floor. I just turned around and walked out, and thought to myself....."At least it wasn't the living room floor"
Like I said its only noon, I just can't wait to see what the rest of the day holds. Please pray for me to keep my sanity until bedtime.

Off To Kindergarten

Makinna is officially off to school. She started kindergarten last Thursday and goes all day. She's been well prepared with preschool and kindergarten jump start this summer, but its still not the same as saying goodbye to your baby on the very first day of real kindergarten. I was fine getting her on the bus until it pulled away and then I got sniffy. Not because I don't want her to go to school, I am so ready for her to go and so is she. Its just the end of an era. The end of having them under your wing. For the first time in her entire life she will be spending more time with someone else than with her own parents. I hope I have instilled good manners and values in her and a good work ethic that will make her successful in school. I think I have because in the last month I have had 3 different people compliment me on what a sweet, polite and caring little girl she is. I like to take some of the credit but much of that she was born with.


Gage however did not do so well with is "Bebe" being gone. He cried when she got on the bus the second day, and several times throughout the day he would look at me and say "Bebe?" I would tell him that she was at school and would come home on the bus. When it was time for her to come home I asked him "Do you want to go wait for Bebe and the bus?" He squealed with delight and stood at the end of the driveway jumping up and down and repeating "bus" and "Bebe" until they finally came. He walked up to her and hugged her and gave her a kiss. (He does not GIVE hugs and kisses often, he mostly tolerates receiving them)


Most of all I am soooo proud of my little girl. She ran off to the bus with a smile and a wave. She is growing into a truly fantastic little girl, and I'm glad she's mine.

A Day In The Life

I often tell people how busy we are. Gage is the busiest 3 year old I know. I thought that I would post what a day in our lives is like. Now this changes with the day and will be different once school starts. Once school starts MY life will get easier but Gage's will get busier. Makinna is also going to Kindergarten this year so both kids will be in school! Of course I will work more. But this is just an example of a day for us.....



6:30 am I get up and get a shower. Makinna is up and watching TV in our room while I shower. Gage is awake and playing in his room.



Morning: Not that different from other families, I try to empty the dishwasher, get a load of laundry going, dress and feed the kids. Gage requests to go out and swing probably 5-6 times and I manage to put him off.



8:20am Makinna catches the bus for Kindergarten Jumpstart (she has this program for 2 weeks this summer)



8:30am Gage's therapist arrives. For the next 3 hours we work with Gage doing ABA drills at the table and working on requesting and other skills. He also gets some free time and I manage to put the laundry in the dryer.



11:00am Gage gets lunch and I make and pack a lunch for Makinna.



11:30am Gage's therapist leaves. Makinna gets off the bus from jumpstart and has enough time to go upstairs to the bathroom.



11:40am We leave for Hanover for the Autism Day Program that Gage is in. It is at least a 40 minute drive.



12:30pm Drop Gage off in Hanover. For the next 3 hours Makinna and I do things like go to the library, run errands, pick up groceries or any other things that can be done. It does not pay me to run home and then back again.



3:30pm Pick Gage up from the day program and drive 40 min home



4:15pm Arrive home and usually Gage throws about a 20-40 min screaming tantrum because he doesn't want to get out of the car.



5:00-5:30 Daddy gets home



5:30-6:00pm I feed Gage some dinner. Our dinner most likely won't be ready until 6:30 -7:00 and he gets really grumpy if he has to wait that long.



6:00-7:00 Gage wants to swing, Makinna wants to color, etc etc and they are completely up my butt.

6:30pm our dinner is ready and I try to eat but Gage is pulling at me to swing him, finally Daddy steps in and Gage screams through our dinner and Makinna crys. (This is very often how our evening meal goes)



7:00pm Bath Time!! Finally! Gage (sometimes Makinna) gets in the tub and trys his best to turn it into a swimming pool. Then snack, a little TV and off to bed

8:00pm Bed time. Daddy reads Makinna a story and I lay down with Gage. He has been going to sleep better so I don't have to lay there for 2 hours while he uses me as a human trampoline. Then once he is asleep I have to tuck Makinna in and snuggle with her.

9:00pm Kids asleep. Make coffee, turn on dishwasher, fold the clothes I forgot about in the dryer. Talk to my husband finally!

10:00pm Off to bed to get rested up for another sprint in this marathon called my life.

BLESSINGS AND CURSES: be carefull what you wish for you may get it!

Gage has come so far in the last year and we have so far to go. But its come to my attention lately that progress is sometimes more work. So I've come up with a list of blessings/curses that have been bestowed upon us:


BLESSING: In November Gage learned to say Mommy for the first time
CURSE: I now hear "Mommy" several times a minute through the day

BLESSING: Gage is improving with his self help skills
CURSE: Gage frequently pulls down his pants and pees on the floor

BLESSING: With the help of melatonin Gage falls to sleep peacefully without any screaming or crying between 8 and 8:30 pm
CURSE: Instead of sleeping until 8am Gage is up bright and early between 6 and 6:30am.

BLESSING: My husband recently put steps at the back door so we don't have to go through the basement to get to our fenced in back yard.
CURSE: Gage now wants to get in his swing at 7:30am.

BLESSING: Gage is becoming more adventuresome with food. He is interested in foods he used to turn his nose up at.
CURSE: He often is interested in "off limit" food with wheat or gluten in them

and finally...
BLESSING: We have a curious, sweet, loving, funny little boy

The Proof is in the Poopy

WARNING: This post contains descriptions of poop!
We have been following the DAN Protocol which entails many supplements and "non standard" practices. I try to approach all of this with an open mind and healthy scepticism. I don't want to not try something simply because its not mainstream, but I don't want to blindly buy into these "non standard" practices either.
Right now we are just finishing up 20 days of Nizoral, a medication the kills yeast. The idea being that Gage had soooo many antibiotics the first 2 years of life that he probably has an overgrowth of yeast and no healthy gut bacteria. Signs of yeast overgrowth are, foamy poops, hyperness, nondescript laughing, red cheeks, and many more. I never really knew what a "foamy poop" was. I mean Gage has had loose stools almost his entire life. I can count on one hand the number of formed poops he's had. I would have described his poop to be like oatmeal. (little did I know this WAS the "foamy poop")
So we do the Nizoral. The doctor said if he has yeast he will get a "die off" reaction, where the yeast die and release toxins and makes you feel bad. Well we had it, terrible behaviour, diarrhea, itching etc. And then it subsided.
So you ask did the medication work? Well the proof is in the poop! After 22 days on the Nizoral, Gage had a real formed, normal looking poop, and has had one everyday for 5 days! I'm amazed. He is also gaining more language. He is consistently saying "I want____" for requests. He is even saying four words at a time. "I want chocolate milk" "I want open door" And he is requesting all day long. " I want...I want...I want...." (Why did I teach him that phrase again???)
Anyway we have normal poop in our house again. I guess that is just proof of something wrong with the body not just the mind. Well now its off to the next step of our DAN protocol.

Makinna's top 10 big girl things

Makinna is growing up so fast. I can not believe what a mature and independent child she is becoming, so this post is dedicated to her. She is mastering skills and telling me "I can do it!" So these are 10 things Makinna no longer needs Mommy or Daddy to help her with...

1.buckling her car seat

2.pouring her juice

3.wiping her butt

4.opening and closing the car door

5.swinging on the swing

6.answering the phone

7.getting her breakfast

8.dressing herself

9.putting her clothes away

10.washing her self in the tub.

You grow girl!

You've come a long way baby!

Its been one year today since Gage was diagnosed with autism. How time flies! This family has been through so many changes in the past year, all of us.

Lets start with Gage. At this time last year Gage said maybe 5-6 words and had very bad eye contact, and he had little interest in the people around him except for mommy. Fast forward one year....Gage now says hundreds of words, I stopped counting around 200, and adds more everyday. He also is now putting together 2 and 3 words and his eye contact has much improved. He also is interested in people. He plays "the hat game" every night with Daddy and also loves to play chase and hide n seek with Makinna. He has started preschool and even rides the "bus" to school. We are so proud of him.

The rest of us have come a long way too. Daddy has taken an active roll in engaging Gage and is remarkably patient and strong disciplinarian with Gage. I am amazed at how well Daddy can direct Gage when he seems undirectable. As for me... the biggest thing is that I don't feel like I have the weight of the world on me anymore. The knot in my stomach is gone. Autism has become a way of life. It feels normal to have people traipsing in and out of my house and to be busy everyday shuttling kids to school and therapy. Even if life is not the normal of yesteryear it is normal to us. Makinna has a better understanding of autism and is enjoying her brother more these days. She has started "mothering" him, its very cute.

We've come a long way in just a year and I know we have so much more of this road to travel. But together this family shall move forward...for we are each others greatest strength. Way to go Gage, way to go family, here's to another prosperous year.

Gage's Love

Gage just loves any type of running water! As you can see from the pic here we have trouble keeping him out of the sink! Water just seems to calm him, and make him more centered. We had thought about getting a fountain for his room but Gage also likes to splash and sit in water so it is just not an option. He was so cute on a recent trip to my brother's lake home. He walked by the glass doors and glanced out, he then stopped and took a double take, pointed and said "water" with a tone of awe in his voice. He then looked at me and said "splash!"

We will have to make another trip to the lake house soon. The kids had such a blast!

Lucky (Wo) Man

We are country music fans at my house. A favorite artist around here is Montgomery Gentry. Makinna especially likes them. They have a new song out called "Lucky Man". This song speaks to me lately, especially the line.."I look around at what everyone has. And I forget about all I've got." (for full lyricshttp://music.yahoo.com/Montgomery-Gentry/Lucky-Man/lyrics/36514769#lyricstop )
This was especially true last weekend. I work on Saturdays and my mother has passed on the yard sale gene to me that runs in the women in my family. My husband told me about a community yard sale in a development that he had been doing some work in. He told me the houses were big, and boy was he right. The homes were just beautiful..BIG and beautiful. I found my self longing for a big beautiful home. Growing up I lived in very nice homes. The house we have now is just a simple rancher with 3 bedrooms and 2 baths, nothing fantastic but not itty bitty either. But the green eyed monster of envy was sitting on my shoulder. Luckily I heard that song on the way home, and I began to kick my self in the butt for even feeling envious.

You see I have a wonderful life. We have our struggles but over all we have a good life. Our house is small but it is full of love. My husband loves me. I know it with every fiber of my body. He loves the kids. He would do anything for this family. We laugh a lot together, our family. We do things together. We grocery shop together, we cook out together, we snuggle in our bed on Sunday mornings together. I believe that as my children grow older they will have fond memories of all the fun we had as a family.
My other blessings include; wonderful friends that let me go on and on and on about my troubles, and an incredibly supportive extended family that has helped us emotionally, financially, and with their time.
Overall life is good. We have our challenges. Seems like they have come one right after another the last 4 years. But we will persevere, we will laugh, we will love each other. After all I probably should not have a big house anyway. My mother also passed on the clutter and poor housekeeping gene to me too.

Testing foiled

Just a short note to say that our dairy testing was foiled. We gave Gage milk Sunday evening and Monday morning. Then I got a call from school Monday afternoon. "oh boy" I thought. Turns out he was running a fever and very lethargic. (which he gets with a fever) I thought at first "wow dairy really does a number on him!" But then I thought a fever of 104 was a little much for a food reaction. Turns out, that after a trip to the doctor, Gage has a sore throat virus. Poor guy. His fever is finally gone today but he is still cranky. I guess the dairy challenge will have to wait for another time.

Test Anxiety

I'm having some major test anxiety. Gage has been gluten free and casein free for 3 months now. He has shown a slow steady progression in eye contact and speech. But ...the diet is difficult. And how do we know its the diet and not just normal development. So next week I will test the dairy part of the diet. I am planning to give him milk 3 days in a row.
I don't know why but I'm having major anxiety over this! I would love to begin giving him dairy again but he is doing so well I hate to have any set backs. Since starting the diet he has not had those tell tail fire red cheeks anymore. Something he was eating was not being good to him. If you scroll down on this blog and look at the picture of Gage eating his birthday cake, you can see that he looks sickly. He looks so pale and washed out with dark circles. He doesn't look like that now. I guess testing is the only way to tell.
Wes is anxious to test, hoping that maybe we can start giving one or the other. Of course he will be at work most of the day while I will be at home with Gage. I guess we will see..... Wish me luck.

MOMMY!!!!

Makinna is 5 and I hear it every 5 minutes...... "MOMMY!!" "Mommy I need a drink" , "mommy I'm hungry" , "mommy I'm ready to wipe" After a while you hear "MOMMY!!" and you cringe thinking "oh God what now?! Can't I even get the dishes put in the dish washer?" But about a month ago I heard it. "MOMMY!!" from another room. But wait Makinna was sitting right next to me. Who could that be? Could it really be...... GAGE! He was actually calling my name ! Oh the joy!
Now I frequently hear my name in stereo from both kids. Of course Makinna will attach a request on hers. Gage just calls me and I of course go running. (have to reinforce that behavior!!) I have come to appreciate so many things having Gage as my son. The sound of your name being called. When you have typical kids it gets tiresome but when you have a child who doesn't speak much it is music. Gage teaches me something almost everyday. (most days he teaches me that I have more patience than I could have ever imagined) I have learned to appreciate the little things. And I have also learned not to take for granted all the fantastic and wonderful things that Makinna can do. Although autism has been a burden for this family it has also highlighted our blessings.
OH have to go I hear it again........"MOMMY!!"

A Turning of the Tide?

We have decided to really seek out the biomed route for Gage. I have seen more improvement in the last 3 months of the dietary interventions and supplements than I have in the 9 months before with just therapy. I am anxious to go see a DAN doctor, to get a professional involved who deals with this all the time. Our pediatrician is of course not supportive of this. Saying there is "no scientific evidence" that biomed has any validity.
Well maybe he does not know what he's talking about. Discover Magazine's April (http://discovermagazine.com/2007/apr/autism-it2019s-not-just-in-the-head ) issue has an article about autism and how many subsets of autism may be caused by environmental toxins and about research that is going to to explore this. And research done by reputable universities.
After hearing stories from other moms and seeing the subtle but steady changes in my own son I can not discount the biomed approach. I know that hoping that this will "cure" my son is maybe setting the bar too high, but I can hope to make him the best he can be. I do hope that pediatricians will get their heads out of their butts and look a little deeper for answers. They often miss the warning signs or say " lets wait and see". They are missing the boat and wasting precious time for their patients that could be spent on intervention. Then when parents do ALL the research and come with questions they quickly discount them because of no "scientific evidence" I wonder when the last time my pediatrician read an article about autism was?
Maybe this Discover Magazine article is a turning of the tide. Maybe there soon will be "scientific evidence" Maybe... finally.... us crazy parents will be heard.

Navigating the maze

One of my greatest sources of frustration and angst is trying to navigate the maze of treatment options for Gage. There are so many options, tons of behavior type programs, biomedical treatments, traditional speech and occupational therapy. Which on will work? The answer is all or none of them. I have heard autistic children likened to a snowflake; all similar but yet each one unique. So what works for one child may not for another. There is no single answer.
Finding the answers for each child reminds me of trying to find your way through a maze and you have to collect puzzle pieces along the way, some of them fit some of them don't and the pieces are not free. Oh no! Some pieces are given to you by the school system or the state or insurance but many of them come with a large fee. ABA therapy 80-140$ and hour. Biomedical treatments: first visit to DAN doctor and first round of blood tests 500-3000$, supplements that may or may not work 50-300$ a month. Those are just two examples there's also RDI, VBT, the Son Rise Program and the list goes on and on..... So which piece do you pay for? There is no guarantee that that piece will be helpful. And many pieces of the puzzle give better results when put together with other pieces. And unlike other medical issues you do not have a knowledgeable person in charge. All the research and planning and decisions are up to you. If you pay for one puzzle piece and it doesn't work you beat your self up because you could have used the money for another puzzle piece that may have worked. It's all very overwhelming.
Right now we are exploring biomedical interventions for Gage. He has been on the GF/CF diet for a month and I am trying some other supplements. Wes and I were talking the other night and we are definitely seeing some improvements in eye contact and language. But I would love to take Gage to DAN doctor to help me at least figure out the bio med aspect. We are saving our pennies. Until then I research and research....
We are also working on getting an ABA program set up for him. We may or may not be able to get help with funding from the county. I found one therapist for 75$ an hour. Not a bad price really. ABA hours can be any where from 10-40 hours a week of therapy. Now she would set up the program and help get it started but not provide all the therapy. We couldn't afford that anyway!
We keep going, winding through the maze looking for the next piece that will be a good fit. Sometimes we get tired and have to stop and take a rest, but we labor on looking for the light at the end and the big piece of cheese.

Couple time (sort of)

Everyone needs a little couple time but couples with kids rarely get it and couples with special needs kids hardly ever get it! So last Monday it snowed and Wes took off work. We still had to drop Gage off at school, which is a 40 min drive. So we took Gage to school and decided to go to the grocery store. Now the grocery store has been remodeled. They have a child care area that you can drop your kids off while you shop, (are they geniuses or what!?) and a little coffee shop area with couches chairs and a fireplace. Makinna loves the child care area. She always begs me to go to the grocery store so she can go play at "The Tree House" Wes and I drop Makinna off at The Tree House and then decide to get a cup of coffee before we pick up our things. We get a cup of coffee and snuggle up on the couch in front of the fireplace at the cafe. It was nice to just sit there. And then I just started to laugh. It just struck me so funny (and sad) that to get a moment to ourselves we had to go to the cafe at the grocery store!!! We only sat for a few minutes and looked at the fire and admired the view out the window of the grocery carts all in a line waiting for customers to pick them up. I guess you have to find romance where ever you can get it.

Music to my ears

There is mischief afoot in my bedroom. I can hear giggling, laughing, squealing, and loud thumping. If my Mommy radar is correct the kids are jumping off the bed and I believe having a game of chase. (Mommy radar knows what is happening just from the sound) Having Gage has changed my views as a parent. If Gage was your typical child I would probably be back there right now scolding the kids for jumping off the bed and telling them to calm down since it is so close to bed time. But I'm not. Instead I am sitting here smiling enjoying the ruckus, because the kids are playing TOGETHER. Gage is never really interested in playing WITH anyone, and Makinna is always looking for someone to play WITH. Ironic that my children are such polar opposites. One of the deficits of autism is social skills. So Gage lacks the ability to know how to play with other children, how to share, how to take turns, how to interact with others appropriately. The kids end up fighting a lot because Gage lacks these skills. So as I sit here in the kitchen and listen to laughing and playing together, I smile. It is music to my ears. Bedtime will just have to come a little later tonight, for there is sibling bonding going on!!

Macaroni and Cheese Withdrawl

We are all suffering from this illness at our house. You see we have decided to take the plunge. We have decided to try the Gluten Free Casein Free diet for Gage. Now you may ask "What the hell is that?" In real words it means "No wheat No dairy" Not just no wheat or dairy but no wheat or dairy derivatives either. And let me tell you almost everything you eat has one or the other or both in it! We just came back today from my 5th trip to a grocery store of some sort this week. I have been to 3 natural foods stores and 3 grocery stores in 6 days trying to find replacements for Gage's favorite foods. Luckily he has accepted Chocolate Almond milk in place of cows milk and Ovaltine.
You may ask "Why would you commit parental suicide by taking out all of the staples of child hood meals, like mac n cheese (yea just when some incredible genius found a way to make it in the microwave!), chicken nuggets, cheese, yogurt, pasta...." Well I have heard many personal stories from real people about the improvement their autistic child made on the diet. I've heard anywhere from amazing increases in speech to small changes in eye contact and socialization. I have not been able to find any "scientific research" (because we all know that scientists know so much more about kids than their mothers) mostly because there is none. After all there is no big drug company that will make a bazillion dollars off of it so why fund it? But polls of parents of autistic children that have tried the diet show that about 60% of the parents saw some improvement. I thought this was good enough odds to justify paying $7.00 for a bag of GFCF pretzels.
Wes is being a trooper. He totally supports trying the diet. He is even being patient while I try to make mashed potatoes and gravy with out using flour or dairy. (I'd like to give that assignment to the Iron Chef!) What matters the most is if Gage likes it. The mashed potatoes turned out pretty good but gravy is another story. The first time I tried I bought a pouch of GFCF gravy mix and followed the directions. Well Gage was not impressed and I don't blame him. He took one taste and started gagging and rubbing his hand all over is face. The stuff was really gross! Tonight I had success with organic chicken broth ( the regular stuff has dairy in it) and cornstarch and a lot of salt. Everyone ate it and liked it. Phew!
We are starting slowly. The first 2 weeks are dairy free than we move into the gluten free stage. I know we can do it, lots of people do. But having your children part with macaroni and cheese is a big sacrifice. ( I think Makinna and will sneak it in when Gage is at school on Mondays but don't tell him!) All I can say is that this family will be eating lots of rice and potatoes. No more eating out. We have to pack lunch if we visit someone. But if this helps our son it will all be well worth it. I think we are already seeing some small improvements in language and awareness. He is now following directions almost all the time (or should I say like most 3 year olds) and he is saying a lot of new words. Just last night he took me over the the fish tank and pointed at the fish, looked right at me and said "Dor-tee". Dorothy is Elmos pet fish. I was shocked.
Well I want to finish this post out by giving a great big "hug" and "thank you" to Kathi. She is a member on the autism forum I post on and she has a fantastic GFCF blog. Her blog has given me oodles of ideas for easy foods that are GFCF and has lots of recipes for them too. She is a wonderful mom and an inspiration to me. Thanks Kathi. (I have a link to her site on my blog)

Ladies Man

Gage has always loved the ladies. He is much quicker to acknowledge a female than a male. Well, according to reports, this is also the case at school. Gage's main social skill is saying "hi" to get someones attention. At school the other day during free play in the gym he must have taken a fancy to the "older women" in his class, the 5 year old girls. He went up to one of them and said "hi" repeatedly the tried to hold her hand. When she finally figured out what he wanted the little girl (there are typical kids in his class) walked along with him holding his hand. He did this again with another girl. His therapist told me that before long he was walking through the gym (very proud of himself) with 2 little girls on each arm. (He must be taking after his Uncle Lee) And the girls evidently had some little tiffs over who was going to hold his hand next. I wish I had been there in person to see my little Don Juan in action. But I'm not all that surprised. He has a 5 year old sister at home whom he adores and he has always liked females. I'm hoping that maybe some of these older girls will take an interest in him and try to include him in social situations and games. I guess it good he's so cute!

Toy hoarding

GRRRR. Gage's toy hoarding is driving me crazy! He always has to have a hand full of toys where ever we go. These toys are usually some sort of vehicle. Mostly the CARS characters these days. When you tell him to get ready to go he starts collecting them. By the time we are ready to leave we've got 3-6 toys we have to take along. He also does this for bed time. I don't see how he can sleep with all those toys surrounding him! Last night we had a big Lightning McQueen, a big Hess helicopter, small doc, small Sally, Medium Mator, 3 Thomas trains, a stuffed puppy, stuffed pig and stuffed bear. And I think I may have missed some somewhere. The toys seem to give him some sort of comfort. I guess its the familiarity of them in unfamiliar places. They often get left behind in the car. Cleaning out the car can be fun because we find forgotten friends that are like having a new toy again. My favorite thing he does is call out for one of them when he can't find them. The other night it was Doc. He went around the house calling "DOC!! Where are you?" With such limited language I love to hear all those words strung together. I guess for a while we will just have to have these tag along friends. If only I could convince him to carry them in a bag.

Bittersweet Birthdays

Gage turns 3 tomorrow. Birthdays are always bittersweet with any children. You watch them grow and mature and leave babyhood and toddler hood behind them. You lament the baby they used to be and wonder at the child they are becoming. With Gage its different. I am so proud of all the progress he has made. At this time last year he had only 4 or 5 words, today he says over 100 (I stopped counting). But tomorrow he will be 3. Not 2, 3! It is painfully obvious next to other 3 year olds that Gage is delayed. Its obvious that he is different, very different. When he was 2 and didn't talk, ran around like a crazy man, threw tantrums, and didn't follow directions he didn't look all that different ,at first glance, from other 2 year olds. But now at 3, expectations from society are different. When we go to the store and he sits on the floor crying because he doesn't want to wear his shoes, or kicks me because he does not want to sit in the cart, or screams because he can't tell me that the lights in the store hurt his eyes, he looks like a spoiled brat and I like a bad parent who won't discipline her child. That's the hard thing about autism. He looks normal. He doesn't have a limp or a brace to wear. So, to the passer by he just looks "bad". Luckily I am developing a tough skin. I pretty much don't care what the old lady at Wal Mart thinks of my parenting. I have been lucky enough not to have anyone say something to me yet. (or maybe they are the lucky ones!!)
With autism the birthday not only brings the joy of celebrating another year of growing with your child but also the stark reality of how far there is to go. The road is exhausting. The road is slow. But I am finding when you travel the road slowly you see things you may have missed otherwise. When Gage said "mama" for the first time ( at the age of 2 1/2) it meant so much more than it would have if he said it at 10 months old. Our frustrations may be bigger but so are our joys.
Tomorrow Gage turns 3. We will have cake and ice cream. He will sing "Happy Birthday" (not very coherently but he knows the song) and he will blow out his candles. That's so much more than he was able to do at 2. What a joy.

School: Its comming all too fast!

I received the school districts newsletter in the mail the other day and there it was... right on the front page..."Kindergarten Registration is March 19th" Just as I was recovering from the trauma (mostly mine) of sending my "baby" to a special needs preschool weeks before he turned 3 I get this in the mail! It seems like yesterday Makinna was a tiny little baby and now I will be registering her for Kindergarten. Of course she is ready. Oh yes she lives for preschool! She is quite the social butterfly. When I pick her up we walk out to the car and she insists on yelling across the parking lot "Bye Katie!!" "Bye Megan!!" She yells goodbye to anyone she sees as we leave (except the boys of course). Before my eyes she is metamorphosing into a beautiful young girl. No longer the chubby cheeked toddler who wanted to wear nothing but the same holey sweatpants. Now she is a tall, slender, blond, who insists that her headbands match her outfit. I remember a time when she was a baby up every 3 hours that I thought the endless nights would never end. That girl cried for the whole first year! But alas they have! Now she sleeps through the night, wears big girl panties, and even sets the table for dinner, but the hard part of parenting is just beginning I suspect. With school comes the influence of peers and teachers. I hope we have laid a good foundation as parents and provided her with the warm nest to retreat to. Yes this school thing is coming way to fast for me. Next year I will have one in school all day and one in school half a day. Hmmmm wait a minute this may not be so bad!!

My first blog post

Well I decided to start a blog. I always liked to journal as a teenager its cathartic. These are the chronicles of our family. Meet the pack: Wes: Father extrodinaire, Katrina: Super mom, Makinna: Princess of the household and the great manipulator, and Gage: or Gagezilla as we like to call him, leaving a path of destruction in his wake!
Initially I was going to start a blog for our son Gage. You see about a year ago our life took a different path than we had expected. Gage was diagnosed as autistic. But I decided that our whole family is worthy of documentation, although I imagine that autism will dominate my posts as it dominates most of my thoughts these days.
So I guess this blog is to inform our family, friends, and complete strangers about the day to day events of our not so typical lives. Please comment, and let us know you have visited. More to come.....